There is no perfect day.
There is only TODAY.
Yesterday, April 15, 2013, was my daughter’s 14th birthday. Her happy day was overshadowed by, of course, the bombings at the Boston Marathon as well as some personal things going on in our lives. She texted me on her way home from school and said, “Worst bday evah :(”
I texted back, “There is no perfect birthday. There is no perfect day. It is what you make it. Let’s end it on a good note.” We were planning on going out to her favorite Asian restaurant, Eastern Dragon in Quakertown for sushi dinner and birthday shopping. When she got home, she apologized. She made the statement, “I just wish I could have a perfect birthday.” I smiled and inside my heart broke a little. I wanted to tell her about a bad birthday I had. My ex-husband, her father, told me my birthday came at an inconvenient time. I wanted to tell her about how many times my birthday was overshadowed by Christmas and forgotten about or just lumped in as part of another holiday. Instead, I said, “As crappy as the day seems, all the bad helps you appreciate all the good.”
After she went to bed, I sat outside in the cool spring air in the dark thinking. I was thinking about my own journey to and through ONEderland. I thought about the emails I get as a result of the blog and my website pamkaelin.com I thought about the people that I work with through Kim Bensen Enterprises in their weight loss journeys. And, I thought about the people who get a few steps in on their journey and stop. I was thinking about the excuses people give me for why they give up.
Some people get very upset that the road in their journey is not a perfectly paved, smooth road. It’s never the perfect day to start or to keep going. But it seems to be the perfect day to stop…always.
They have to plan out their food.
They can only have certain foods to succeed.
Their family doesn’t understand.
They feel it’s hard and/or frustrating.
They feel like it’s a hassle.
They don’t want to exercise or get in activity.
They don’t want to be accountable.
They feel they could succeed if for instance, I moved in with them, planned out the food for their day, did their grocery shopping, threw out the bad foods in their house, cooked their meals, exercised with them, gave them daily affirmations to motivate them, spoon-fed their meals to them so they wouldn’t eat other foods, smacked their hands when they go to eat something they shouldn’t.
That’s not a perfect way to lose weight. That’s just trading dependency on junk food and laziness to the dependency of having someone else do all the work for you.
There is no victory in losing weight that way.
Maybe they don’t realize all the heartbreak, pain, food cravings I worked through, core issues I had to dig down into, miles I walked in sun, rain, snow and wind, insults and sabotage I endured, books I read, recipes that flopped and tasted horrible, negativity from naysayers and cliques. It’s not all sunshine and sugar-free lollipops on this journey. Some days outright SUCK. Sometimes my attitude STINKS. But…. Then there are many many days that are outright triumphant and framed in gold as a result of my decisions.
It makes all that time of planning, exercising, not giving into cravings, the pain from stretched muscles and all that WORTH it.
My days are not perfect. But they are full of so much more smiles.
My days are not pain free… but I don’t have a constant stabbing pain in my knees and feet from standing, I am not groggy from sleep apnea, my arthritis is not screaming at me to eat pain relievers like candy, etc.
I have friends that do not understand why I can’t sit in the bar and eat wings and drink beer like I used to, they’ve taken it personal and I’ve had to realize this is THEIR problem.
Not everyone likes me. I’ve had friends, family, and people I’ve met through this journey call me anal, obsessive, picky eater, a goodie goodie, “so perfect”, abrasive, egotistical and a lot of negative adjectives. This is a reflection of THEM and their dissatisfaction with themselves. It used to affect me when someone didn’t like me. I wanted to feel accepted, approved and “part of the gang”. On the flipside, the people that I’ve come to know and become REAL friends with have been fulfilling in their relationship with me. I’ve come to know some powerful women and men who have taken life by the balls and refuse to back down with what we’re handed.
I now BANG MY OWN DRUM. I don’t care how big or how little the group of “who likes Pam” is. The most important thing is…DO I LIKE MYSELF? And do I surround myself with people I like or with people I seek approval and validation?
…and that’s what you need to do too.
Let your journey take you down NEW paths that you have to clear out with the machete of your pure will, motivation and determination!
In THAT is such a sweet victory… taking a “crappy day” and turning it into a journey of better days. And I so appreciate my victories more when they are not easy. You know you worked HARD to get there.
This is such a gorgeous age of technology, but it’s made us lazy. You have at your disposal such tools out there. There are weight loss programs, websites of recipes, apps and programs to help you with fitness, chats and meeting rooms online, we’re wired in, hooked on and plugged into the world…for good or bad.
But they do NOTHING if you’re expecting them to come out of the computer and re-do your body. It just doesn’t work that way.
There is no perfect day.
There is only today.
What are YOU doing TODAY?
And how are you making it a better TOMORROW?