How many times during our journey do we fall into the “it’s not fair” feeling? We are out to eat and over at another table is one of those horrible people. You know “them”. Ugh! They sit there and with no regard or care in the world just start eating…right there for everyone to see. No weighing. No measuring. No care for what she’s eating. Just eating. And stuff I can’t have. Doesn’t she CARE about what she’s eating? Oh it’s not fair. Why do I have to be so darn careful and she’s just sitting there eating. So I’ll throw her a dirty look…or mutter a little too loudly about “keep eating like that and it will all end up in your rear end one day and you’ll know what it’s like.” That will teach her. There, she saw me, just the look on her face tells me she KNOWS I’m upset and it’s all HER fault I’m on this sucky diet. She has no idea what it’s like to be on a diet.
No. I haven’t personally done that. But I know people who have. And recently I was on the receiving end of that comment. All because someone assumed. Assumed I was never overweight. Assumed I wasn’t very carefully calculating what I was eating to make sure it fit into my program for the day. Assumed that I had no idea what it felt like to go through all those emotions. It hurt.
For a few seconds, I wanted to defend myself, rationalize my actions and explain. Tell her that I knew all too well what it felt like to never try to sit in a booth because it would be too embarrassing to either not fit or be able to get out of it. Tell her that I felt like the world was laughing at me when I tried to eat in public earlier in my life. Explain that I had eaten very lightly all day to enjoy what I was eating at that moment and that I could tell her exactly how many calories I was consuming. Pull out my travel pocket food scale and explain that I just weighed every bit of protein on that plate to know exactly what I was eating. Show her that I knew of a program that was awesome if she’d listen to me for a few minutes. But I didn’t want to come off like the Jehovah’s Witness of dieting. Or scare her by getting up from my table, heading to her and having her think I was going to confront her. I guess someone more extroverted may do that. I felt guilty, I felt hurt and I felt CONFUSED! I didn’t do anything wrong! But in that moment I felt an empathy. I remembered being that person, that angry person that hated anyone who could eat anything they wanted and not gain weight. But how did I really KNOW that? In the case of a stranger, how would I know by LOOKING at them? How would I know they really could eat ANYTHING or NEVER had a weight problem?
I can’t know that for certain. I only know what I have gone through and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. I’ve learned not to judge other people’s plates and tables in restaurants. That is their path and I have mine.
We can’t assume. For our own peace of mind, we must stop wallowing in the self-pity of “I gotta be on this diet” and start DOING things more productive. Keep to your path and keep strong. It isn’t fair or unfair that we’re “on this diet”…IT JUST IS. All our bodies are different. I have a set calorie count I must stay in or I will gain weight. Some people can eat more, some can eat less. It is what it is. Deal with it, put on those big girl panties and work with it and for your own sake….MAKE YOUR PROGRAM fun! If whatever program you’re on can’t be made fun…then you’re on the wrong program. I love the program I’m on and everything about it. (Options by Kim Bensen) How about you? Change your mind, change your life!
Interested in Options…check out Kim’s site at http://www.kimbensen.com
Check out my website at http://www.pamkaelin.com
And make that diet, lifestyle or whatever YOU’RE calling it…FUN!! 🙂 Just my thoughts for the night before I turn in….